Jess's son has been suspended four times in the past year, often for "behavioural issues" she says are linked to his disability.
The Queensland mother, who asked to be anonymous, said it's happened so often, she's lost track of how many internal and external school suspensions he's been given over the past five years, but puts the figure at more than 10.
"That has affected us greatly. They all vary in length — some are in-house, some are external," she said.
"We've suffered financially, we have had to change the way we work. I am now working at home."
Data obtained by the ABC shows 81,918 suspensions and exclusions were issued in Queensland's public schools in 2023, up by nearly 3,900 on the year before.
Overall, the figure is lower than in 2019, and the education department says there were less disciplinary absences in 2022 due to a delayed start to the year on account of COVID-19 and weather events.
The most frequent reason for suspension was physical aggression, with almost 20,000 incidents last year.
Jess believes it's become excessive.
"He's missed a lot of school, and he's not at the level that he should be because he hasn't been able to go to school," she said.
"As a mother watching your child be excluded and really struggle day-to-day — not just at school, but out in the community — is absolutely heartbreaking.
"You're trying to seek help from all the different services that there are on offer, and I'm hitting roadblock after roadblock, and it's extremely disheartening."
Students with disabilities are more likely to be suspended, according to state government data on public schools. In 2022, almost half the students given short suspensions had a disability.
Jess said schools don't have the funding or resources to make classrooms inclusive for children like her son.
"My son has an invisible disability, so on the surface he looks like every other kid, he goes to a state school like every other child," she said.
"It's really difficult to explain to people that he has these issues for a reason, because the education is not out there for kids like mine, and there's many other children like my son that have these experiences."
An 'uncomfortable' figure
In January 2023, the education department redefined some of the categories for suspensions, meaning the figures now show the most suspensions — almost 20,000 — were issued for physical aggression.
The next most frequent reason was defiance at almost 12,000, followed by abusive language at almost 11,000.
Education Minister Di Farmer said she's "not at all" comfortable with the number of suspensions, but that classroom behaviours have become increasingly complex.
"We need to be looking at what are the needs of those kids, and how can we support them but at the same time, support the people who are teaching them," she said.
"We just have to make sure we have the right environment.
"Every child deserves thrive, deserves to have an opportunity to education, we have to make sure we're providing the right environment for them and the teachers."
Prep students received 738 suspensions, Year 1 students about 2,000 and 2,559 were issued to Year 2 students.
Ms Farmer acknowledged the figures may be surprising to some, but said they represent problematic behaviour.
"You hear the stories of some of the things that Prep students are actually doing in the classroom, including being physically violent, and being disruptive. This is where you can see both sides of the argument," she said.
'He feels a great sense of shame'
Jess said her son doesn't understand why he can't stay at school.
"I think he feels a great sense of shame because he knows he's done the wrong thing," she said.
"But at the time he just cannot manage what's happening, and he often gets very upset and cries.
"Once the initial shock is over then he continues to take out his emotions on the family, because he just can't understand why he can't be with his friends at school, or why he can't stay at school."
She wants state schools to be better equipped for children with disabilities.
"There needs to be plans in place to prevent suspensions, and there needs to be more education about disabilities in state schools and more funding in classrooms."
'There has to be a way forward'
Last month the state government was forced to withdraw key amendments to draft legislation which would have allowed parents to appeal short suspensions if their child was going to be absent for more than 11 days in a school year.
Queensland Teachers Union had argued to allow such appeals would undermine its members' judgement and failed to address systematic problems with workloads and under-resourcing.
Meanwhile, organisations supporting children who are vulnerable, have disabilities or are of First Nations background say their cohorts are disproportionately suspended or excluded, and want fewer to be issued.
Now, Ms Farmer is bringing together advocates, parents and teachers for the first time to look at managing disciplinary absence rates.
She said there "has to be a way forward".
"There'll be some compromises, but we have to do it, those kids all deserve the same rights as any other, but we have to look after our teachers as well," she said.
"When we do the roundtable, there won't necessarily be consensus at the first meeting, but it's about understanding and respecting each other's views."
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